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Well yup Im a pansy or whatever you'd like to call me Ima bum. Okay yep it's one of those days. Nah on the real I've just been overloaded with ishnit to do and this multi-tasking thing is getting a bit out of hand. Really there is no real response to "How was your day?" okay maybe one that my brain can muster= full, real m****r-f***ing full. S'aight suck it up and deal it's the real world now start getting use to it. I think the lack of zzz's are getting to me a bit, ha sleep, sleep? I dont need you. Okay maybe a good 5 hours and Im game.
Okay enough about that, tomarrow is halloween, yup and dammit the sixers always play on Halloween the times I wish I had TiVo, one solution: Blank tape+VCR and go ol' school with it and avoid sportscenter at all cost. How am I doing? Happy Halloween all! But now part of an accidently non published post, the rest doesnt mater but i think this does:

Nah this whole week has been pretty crazy and on the real It's stuff like this that makes you think. I know I started this post in a tinge of firvolousness but more serious than nothing there are things that get you. Take for instance the fire situation here. Being in that position is something that you may not know how to deal with until your placed in it. What would you take? Im not meaning your damn stereo that esentially can be replaced but what about those things that are absolutely priceless? How would it feel to come home to a no longer existing home? How would it feel to be a 70 year old and see that you house of 40 years is only ash A lifetime of memories. I honestly cannot even come close to imagining it but seeing people in that situation makes you put your issues aside for a minute. May strength be with these people.
posted by Shaistie at 11:57 PM

 
Pazookie!
Well Friday hmm..... Well there was a random plan to go to the beach but that completely fell through well I couldnt go cause I had to pick up my brother and then it turned into a BBq that I also coiuldnt make because yup after a long ass while of putting it off I went and got my nails done. I think I would of procrastinated it a bit more but Alys' made the appointment at her place and so I finally did it. I know there is no real occasion but it's one of those random things that sometimes you just feel like dong. What a bunch of girls we are right lys'? lol. Well after that lys' and me went to dinner had some pizza at BJ's and then oh yeah that's right Pazookie.... Now let me tell you that it's just as good as a pint of ice cream when your not feeling so super inside. We talked, griped about the world, yup real kick back Friday and that was great being that I havent had too much time to relax...
Saturday ya know the usual work.... I've been thinking about getting a new jacket for snowboarding season but then again the one I have now is super so why spend the extra, yup that's right didnt make an unnecessary expense... Im so proud of me... Ok Im a bum whateva (Roxanne tone here) but hey maybe I can look to maybe eventually actually getting a snowboard of my own... So yeah got home pretty late decided to rent a movie on my way home ( didnt think that anyone wanted to go out) and made some Nougat Montilimar. Yep, I do that kind of ish at random but I heard no complaints, but I did get the "what a crackkhead what are you doing now look". It helped though I had my mind occupied welll now I decide to blog since it's slowly whittling down from everyday to whenever I can breathe for 2 seconds, oh well, maybe tomorrow will be a better day. Optimism, yeah.

posted by Shaistie at 11:53 PM

 
Tryin' to take over the world and still have my cup of tea...
So yeah life has been well life and there aint too much to do about it. Midterms haev really kicked my ass basically Im running on fumes now no sleep and I've been working like you dont understand so yeah that's partly the reason for my non-bloggingness of these days. Other reason is that I think that my tiredness and recent days have added to my loneliness and making time go by that much slower. A million and one things run through my head heaven help me be patient. Just adding a bit to it maybe it's just me but the last few days it seems everywhere I go, everywhere I look I see people all paired up, all lovey dovey and I know that it's wrong but I cant help feeling a tinge of jealousy because he's so far away and anything if anything is not a definate. Time dammit time.
Well during these days I managed to put together a lil' halloween costume for the party/kickback at Marc's but then technically I think it's Alyssa's Party go figure lol. An d yes Im dressing as something this year. I think partly because it makes me feel a little excited, so out of the ordinary of the whole work and school and ish routine. So yeah as Alyssa would say "is it halloween yet? Is it halloween yet?".
Randomness as usual but I had to get a lil' hostile at the parking lot today. Some female thinks that she can just leave all late and then take MY parking spot pshit she dont know me Im crazy. Get this her excuse was "Im going to be late to class" Im like thinking nah shit that's why I left early to get me a spot. But yeah the matter was resolved mind you with a little threat that I'd key her car (funny shit dont think Im psycho it's just some females that ...well bring the ghettoness). So yeah on the real my english midterm was crazy Never before did I ever come close to filling in a whole blue book. Well here goes I did something of a book and a half around there.
On my list of things to do I crossed another one off I went and ordered the crosage for my brother's homecoming date. Never knew they were fairly expensive. Had half a mind to make one my damn self ya know the whole home and garden channel martha stewart(pre-criminal) thing can have it's ups but nah.
Well procrastination is not my friend so I gotta get my ass to doing some homework (no, on the real, Im gonna do homework) Need to concentrate. Well another day is almost over *sigh* one day at a time is all I can do.
posted by Shaistie at 10:41 PM

 
More of life's randomness...
Pretty normal day, ok what's new really? Been overworked, drained and overall tired. Yup nuttin too different. Nah but on the real Been trying to keep the best foot forward. I know I know I much to blame for my emotional troubles. I've been kickin' my own ass for a long time. Well now that Im so decided to not be so reserved and say how I feel I dont know if I'll have the chance to. I promised myself that I would say everything that I need to say to him, just so I know what to do. I guess what I was telling Brissa was also directed to myself I gotta decide what's worse living with the uncertainty and never knowing ( and knowing I could of done something about it) or put it all out there take a chance and see what happens and get some answers (good one I hope). I cant back out. Now the thing that is bothering me is that I may not have the chance to do so.
Okay well today i get a text and email and a call all from Marc (sorry I got around to responding so late) asking me to help put together a little something for Artur's party for this weekend, yeah going by everyones schedule it's a tad bit short notice but hey spontaneaous is the key word. So yeah basically all we gots to do is figure where to go, what to do, and call all the peoples, oh yeah and what to get him for his b-day. Cant shop under pressure for some reason. Okay not pressure really but when you know your getting something for someone specific I totally blank. But we'll think of something.
Gotta mention this just cause, 'memeber I mentioned that I bought new gloves and scarf for snowboarding later this year well Me and Roxy had this conversation that gotme thinking. Damn you! I've been so excited and then she has to pop out with the what would happen if you broke yor leg before and couldnt go, Okay after waiting this long its kinda making me a little paranoid that with my kinda luck some freak accidient would keep me from it or better yet with this wacko weather we're having here in good ol' southern Cali that there will be no snow. Okay pessimistic thoughts aside lets just say fuck it and "southwest" it over to colorado or utah. Random I know. Oh before I forget I made a new friend Joe. I've read his blog for awhile but only recently I started getting all high tech here with my blog and added the blogroller and counter I know not so high tech but hey Im a little computer illiterate and all that html stuff can be a little intimidating, nah I actually found it to be fairly simple but yeah check out Joe's blog Cut the Shit. Oh and by the way congrats on your show Im so glad that it went so well!!!
Well I still got an ass load of stuff to do and procrastinating is fun but eventually I got to get it done so I guess it's a wrap tonight.....
posted by Shaistie at 11:54 PM

 
:(
Shoulder/back hurts but more than that somethin that advil, tylenol nor aleve can fix. I miss you.
posted by Shaistie at 10:39 PM

 
Time.
Time time time. Where did it all go? Where is it going now? Time is becoming that which is reminding me how old Im getting, that which is the reason for much stress, that which there never is enough of anymore. Ugh. Back to kindergarten anyone? Let's see Friday, I didnt do a damn thing except take my brother to Starbucks for a quick coffee. Um Saturday. Well I worked job #1 and as much as I love that job I hate being taken advantage of. Makes me wanna say fuck you , tough you deal with it Im not gonna solve your problem I got plenty of my own. Came home changed and grabbed my other clothed plus clothes for that party that Kevin was having (I planned on stopping by after work) So off I went to job #2. (9 different parties same place=shoot me) Got off my back and arm werent doing so super. I had text alys' abou the party and she was up for it so I got to her house talked a bit, changed for it and off we went. Um yeah didnt really find it among some crazy "Gravity Hill" streets and so we drove around listening but nope didnt find it so it turns out that Alys' and me just played dress up. Decided to head back to alys' and then talked awhile more and then decided to call it a wrap I had to get up for Job #1 again. Woke up with some crazy pain in my back that ran up to the underneath my shoulder blade, nice. Advil. Headed to work and I've been dealing with it ever since. dont got too much to look forward to. Oh yeah I forgot to mention that I bought my snowboardin gloves and a new scarf for snowboarding but uncertainty over what's gonna happen in my life is putting a cloud over it. Needing answers, not knowing how to go about getting them. I feel like shit.




posted by Shaistie at 9:52 PM

 
And you wonder why people look at you wierd..."
I know I have totally sucked at keepin gmy blog upand on the real I wasnt gonna tonite. Okay because of two reasons: A) My ass has been sleep walking B) Cause nothings changed. I havent slept. And Roxy didnt sleep and when you put us together you get a pile of uncensored, unfiltered ramblings, but laughs though nonetheless. Honey, coffee creamer and iced tea--->not a good mix ('nuff said right?). Im really tired but I got this crazy headache and I think it has to do with the obscene list of ishnit that I have to do. I think I gotta start adding another 4 hours to the day, fun. I have to find a way of taking things off my mind, gotta do it. Ran into Malik. Slightly awkward at first but then it was all gravy. I had heard from Jay that he was doing okay and he was also seeing someone. We talked a good 20 minutes and Im glad that he's alright. Then I had to head off. Oh and by the way yeah roxy it's super seeing you during that hour break. SO yeah for the most part trying to stay up to date on work and school, it's hard as hell to, tired. But mostly now beside the tired its that I cant get this off my mind. I've been up studying for exams (it stopped being cute, no really, not funny, enough with it). Almost every second of everyday is taken up. But I keep thinking about this and I cant sleep well.
Random ish that popped into my head I didnt know that Brandy and her husband split. They looked so happy together, in love. No more thoughts. Arnold's governor. Dammit the 112 cd doesnt come out until November, consolation Jagged edge but not the same.....Maybe a lil' chicken and beer.... Okay rambling, maybe I should digress. My mythology professor is a real crackhead bling bling ........okay fork .....done....... it's a wrap. I made no sense. S'aight s'aight. Is it just me or is Babyface's seven seas playing, maybe only in my head. I called it a wrap Im a stick to it ........now........
posted by Shaistie at 11:57 PM

 
Cops, Fan clubs, and Procrastination...
Well the weekend but wait I havent written in a bit, life, life, life, is that what it can be called. Empty. Well nuttin too different in life highlight was Friday, well most eventful anyway. Went to school, class got cancelled, Roxy couldnt decide what to eat and then she wanted a smiley face pancake, you know the real spiffy ones at IHOP. Well we got there and she didnt get the smiley but got international pancakes but yeah I fronted like I knew what the hell I was talking about but I read the menu and so yeah "I just remembered what swedish pancakes were". Well I get this text message from my brother saying he got out at 12:30 ( a whole hour before he really gets out) I didtn trip and went to pick him up but when I got there I texted him and he replied with a "didnt I say 1:30?" all I had left to say to that id "fuck you". Well skipping over called Alyss' and we went out. On my way to her house I get pulled over. Damn. I was only going 80. Damn. Well the cop was kinda young and and here I am scared shitless thinking about how fucked I am for getting pulled over,well He asked me if I knew why he pulled me over and I said no and then he told me I was speeding and I told him I didnt really notice becasue I thought I was going flow of traffic (It was either that or that I needed to pee). Well long story short I got off with a warning and I ended it with a "you have a good night officer". I get to Alyss' house told her about the cop then we went to try the Gelato at Red Brick Pizza. I swear after Italy WE have become obsessed, crackheads I know. Well we had a nice converstaion kinda got serious and then made our way to Jamba Juice to get my pops a honey bran muffin (before I left he's all like "while your out canyou get me one of those Jamba muffins?". Then we called Brissa but she was sick and then after some thought decided that my pool game needed some work . On the way Alyss called Eugene his pansy ass was watching T.V. buthe came any way.
Get to the Bowling alley (it has pool tables) and racked them up, okay here I am frontin like I know. Bottomline if the stick (I know that there has to be a name for it other than stick) ain't taller than me we're in business. Well it took 40 minutes to finish the game, I think Alyss' let me catch up to her though, aww what a pal. Eugene gets there and we play him against us. I developed a small fanclub of guys that were playing at another table a lil' bit of cheers and applause, and yep my face was red. Well then we moved on over to bowling. Well got food first for my three hungry peoples and then started to bowl. My fan club came out to watch a lil' bit then we moved alleys cause Eugene needed to throw his ball from a certain side and I did pretty good. Lets not mention the second game..... Called it a wrap and took Alyss' home. Good night I think, Cops, fanclubs, I made an ass out of myself(but that's not that rare), and shared some stuff with Lys'.
Suppose to do some work and homework and thats where the procrastiantion comes in. But i cant play myself either. I cant get much done because my mind aint all there. The heart is lonely and there aint nothing mush I can do to remedy that right now. There are a million and one things runnin through my head and I dont know if Im ok. I know what I need. Oh I forgot to mention since I havent written that I did play in my last game of the season already and Im alreday thinkin of filling in the extra time. I hate it when basketball is gone. That void that Im already feelin is only growing now that b-ball is done for the season. I sat for awhile on the steps outside my house. no one was home. I had my ball with me, I stared at it for a long time, thinking, about everything. I dont wanna be tweeked in front of people, I gotta brush it off. Just plain dying. But now to my responsibilities, so why havent I been able to stop crying? Dammit.
posted by Shaistie at 10:30 PM