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Happy Thanksgiving...
Im actually feeling a little better today after last night. I was having the worst time breathing and I had a fever that was ridiculous and my head was gonna 'xplode any minute but after the all that medicine (I've lost track of how much and how many kinds I've taken) I think I'll live. Well but that aside just taking a little time to wish ya'll a happy thanksgiving. Last night sucked so much ass but today even though swallowing hurt like a motha we had plenty of food, mmm. But anywho, I heard from some people that I hardly get to talk to anymore, you know life and schedules and that was great. It was fun having everyone contribute their little bit to make this crazy meal. It was fun teasing my brother's bird about it being the thanksgiving meal (it looked shocked and appalled it hid in a corner the whole day). I just hope that everyone had a very nice thanksgiving, lots of food and maybe a frighten bird too. cough*sniff* I got a long day tomarrow.....
posted by Shaistie at 10:34 PM

 
Another Year....
Yeah I know. Another year goes by and feelings ar the same. Yeah this time of year, today, well Im feeling this way. How many times I told myself no more, and then I never go through with it. All the memories just flooding my head, my concentration was even worse than it has been this semester if that's even possible, all day thinking, remembering. I got an "are you okay?" call from Gizmo. I never stop being amazed at his inuition. Still waitin what more can I say. Im trying to think of why Im bloggin when in reality it's not making me feel like I've vented. It reminds me how bad I am with words when it comes to this. November, november.
posted by Shaistie at 11:58 PM

 
So I've been gone not my fault, no really..........
I know I've been gone awhile, for the most part it's not really my fault. Main reason is that my DSL was down and then the other is because my state of being hasnt been all that great and deteriorating at times. For the most part I've been trying. Tryig not to let things get to me but as stupid as it may sound I've running out of cheeks to turn. I guess the pressure is getting to me and maybe Im over doing things a bit much. A lot of things have just been piling up and sometimes I just want to say fuck it, fuck everything. I cant let myself fall. I cannot fail. There's too much ish but I got myself inot it so suck it up and quit bitchin'. (yeah that's my idea of a pep talk nowadays).
I havent ahd much time to even stop and destress myself I think that if I get out there for a lil bit with my ball I'll be a lil' more sane. It's not evn the lack of sleep it's just stress. I got a million and one things running through my head that I cant close my eyes and fall asleep like I'd want to. My heart, oh we wont even get into that past post say it all well now anticipation grows to fear. I wish that I could be more nonchalant about it but even if I could hide it to the world the one person that I cant is myself. Man, lying to yourself, nothing good comes from it. I want to be honest to myself.I gotta be honest to him. Okay there I go again.
Well I've had some occasions for smiling though, oh and by the way a big ol' happy birthday to Roxy!!!!!!!!! I didnt have online service to post it up on your birthday but I hope that you had a great birthday and super fun time. WE all went out for her birthday had some smores and joked about random ish. i went out last night with Brissa and 'Lys and as usual there was no lack of High Fives and our usual dorkiness (okay my dorkiness I wont put ya'll on full blast) unfourtuantely we didnt get Adam but we had a very nice waitress nonetheless. So Bris' which is it pick hurry quick : Ketchup or ranch? huh huh huh? Just messin which ya. oh and there's nothing better than describing your pee-in-a-cup experiences with your friends how about that funnel 'lys? Ya know it really does suck that males have it easier. I think there should be a special cup to make it more challenging.......yeah feelin a tad bit evil.... hmmm what else oh I promise you 'lys we'll get to those salsa lessons. Have you noticed that you cant turn downa high five? No really you cant and if you can your doing it on purpose but it's instinct. well I know I got a lot of making up to do but my mom is not in the concentrating mood drained is what it is so I leave you to ponder ways to make peeing in a cup more difficult for men, the high five instinct, oh and what the hey why waiters come around and ask how things are right when you put food in your mouth (although we got a great answer courtesy of adam)..... isnt it a dissappointment to wake up fome a dream that seemed so real and everything that you wanted, you try to go back to sleep in hopes of catching it but your always a step slow, so after the smile and good feeling fade, your left wide awake trying to figure out if it really happened, to your dismay it was only your mind playing tricks on you. So maybe tonight after I get some of the work I've procratinated for a bit done and I lay my head down and sleep finally reaches me can my dreams be so kind to let me catch last night's? Im not sure if asking it to be replayed in real life would be asking too much. *sigh*
posted by Shaistie at 11:54 PM

 
Oh Adam, will you be the Will to my Grace?
Went to lunch with Eugene cheli and Roxy. Sizzler, hey is it so wrong that you want to be surprised? "Suprise me", That's my response to what kind of chicken sandwich do you want? Well dammit Roxy she had to say it was my birthday (it should of been you this time) and I got abirthday hat, a lei, and Balloon and Happy Birthday sung to me, and Ice cream. You know what I neede Ice cream so thanks Roxy but damn lol.
Well I started the evening by getting my nails filled with Alyss' (figured I'd keep 'em a little longer and I thought it would cheer me up ) and then we went home. We talked awhile there about everything always jumping around topics like usual, 'lys was hungry so we went out to look for some food ( non-hunter gatherer style mind you). Well we headed up to Porter Ranch and came upon a predicament well actually 'Lys wouldnt pick... I drove, you pick .....I picked last time.... Well after sitting there for awhile, 'lys decided to take the "scientific" approach : Flip a coin. (Science rules right 'lys?) Well it was between In and Out and TGIFriday's. TGIFriday's won. We get there and even get the door opened for us and everything (yeah they opened it for everyone but let me feel special) Well we go in and we get this super waiter, Adam. He's so funny and has this cuteness about him, you feel like you've known him forever and a half. Well we talked, joked around with Adam (Really why do waiters always come by and ask you stuff right when you took a bite of something? All you can do is helplessly shake your head in response and swallow quickly lol. Or make sure your mouth aint full when the other person's is). Anyway, when we got ready to go we had already put money in the money holder thing (I know proper name escapes me right now), Adam comes by and takes the money out and tells us "It's been taken care of". Im met with same look of "huh?" by Alys'. We turn to Adam with an array of questions: "Your kidding right?", "who?", "No really your kidding..." Well After twisting his arm a bit he told us it was a guy that worked there Alex. Well that's never happened to me before, or should I say us and so I guess we lost our "the bill's been taken care of" virginty, yep it sounds wrong lol. Well , it doesnt end there, some guy comes up and asks if he and his friend could join us and buy us a drink, well we were on our way out (and Im not drinking til Im 21- 3 months to go). We stayed (partly i think because we wanted to thank Alex for dinner, partly I guess because we couldnt find the way to say no). Well any hope for intersting conversation went down the drain the minutes dragged in awkward struggle. We finally excused ourselves with the excuse that we had to pick a friend up. On the way out we waited to say thank you to Alex, he was nice. Adam, we need to hang out, (if only you were straight you'd be perfect lol) The scientific approach did not fail us, we got a great waiter and a free meal can't beat that with a baseball bat.
Saturday, Work, work and work, got home with my rental "two can play that game" , yeah the movie made me cry at the end, had some funnel cake that I made. See what happened is that I got home my brother was at his friend's (sleep over) and my parent went out so I was alone. So I had a movie and funnel cake, yeah drowning myself in funnel cake. Thinking. Damn I miss him.
Sunday, woke up tired, see what happened was that I was up thinking for so long I didnt fall asleep well after 3:00 am. I went to work, came home helped with dinner (apparently my momma was waiting for me so I could make some pasta, the kind she likes). Procrastinating again and now I really should concentrate on my homework. 4 more days until Tupac Resurrection... How to concentrate when there's a million and one things running through your mind? There's more to this but I gotta get my geology done and get some zzz's.
posted by Shaistie at 11:48 PM

 
Distracted.......
Yup there aint more to that. Self explanitory.........sad I know..... It's near midnight and I went all into my Greek and Roman mythology reading that I now realize what time it is. I wanted to call Alys', but now Im not sure she's up.Sucks to wake people up.Again I cant' sleep so I guess I should just get some work done. I started this blog what 6 or 7 months ago and honestly I thought that I wouldn't of kept it up as it happens to all my other journals. Mostly Ithink it's due to my writing on the back of papers, napkins, on the corners of my notes, I go back and read some of these *sigh*. By the way Sorry lys' I should of called Im such an absent-minded bastard........Oh and nails, Friday sounds great. Your nail lady will think we're crackheads by the end of this lol.

Things that made me smile today:

-Roxy brought me my disneyland lollipop (no I can not eat the whole damn thing in one sitting, wouldnt you like to watch me
struggle my way through that, 6 servings nah can't do it, or can I?)
-Did you know George W. (the prez) use to be a cheerleader? ( go U-S-A like totally) As if there aint enough ish to clown that
man on we need a lil more.(Throw more lighter fluid to the flame hehehe)
-Getting paid an extra hour of work I didnt do. (hey it's gas $$$, wait when isnt it gas money?)

Things that didnt well...........why list these? again it'd only be like putting sandpaper on my toilet seat.........
posted by Shaistie at 11:52 PM

 
When autumn first arrived you were my mine
And love was written in the winter snow
Then with the change of months there came october
And now i wonder where that love did go

It was the second rain of autumn we shared a feeling
It was such, such a glorious autumn dream, yes it was
But like kids we were too shy to say to each other,one another
That together we would always like to be

Someday soon i know we'll come together
Even though our feelings change as seasons do
But maybe sweet november will tell us the story
That will bring us back the love that we both knew

When autumn first arrived you said you'd be mine
And promised me that you would never go
Then with the change of months then came october
And now i'm wondering where, where did our love go

It was the second rain of autumn we shared a feeling
It was such, such a glorious autumn dream, yes it was
But like kids we were too shy to say to each other,one another
That together we would always like to be




posted by Shaistie at 11:41 PM

 
Again and again and again...
Here I go back to the same thing back to the same ol' same. But I act like it's not an everyday thing. Maybe it could be the Rain. Or maybe it's because it's November.Like every other November. Flood of memories crazyness running through my head and I try. I promise myself not to think, contradictory because by doing so Im already doing it. The days are much colder now. I was talking to roxanne today I've set many "goals" mostly stuff to look forward to in short intervals of time. Tying to find a way, my way. I'll let you know how that's working out. Lost...Yeah....
By the way thanks for the coffee Roxy. But mostly for the good laugh. Peer pressure is a motha.... But thanks.

*Puts head in hands*
Now what........

posted by Shaistie at 11:02 PM

 
A month and a half? oh and a lil' Halloween....
Back again and with my usual procrastination I desided to update my blog. Well before I go to where my thoughts have been I'll start by talking about halloween. Well Friday, Hmm, well I finally got to where My Greek goddess costume that I put together ( I think it was pretty super who knows...) But yeah I actually put a lot of thought into it ya heard mostly to keep my mind occupied. But yeah then on the real mother nature has this cracked up way of working out of the whole month of october the one night that you need a nice night it rains and it was cold as a motha-- adn not to mention that the nice flowy material that I chose that seemed liked a good idea during those 90 degree weather days of the previous week now only looked like it would only help me get pnemonia. But yeah after putting myself together hair and all I took my brother to his halloween party then headed off to mine. Oh and I finally remembered the cow, ya know the one that I've had for months that I kept forgetting to give to ALys' well now last I saw it it was at Marc's and maybe the way that cow's been getting around it looks like it'll stay at marc's for at least a week (maybe a month). Anyway I had fun saw peple I dont get to see all that often anymore. Then went to pick up my brother and then came back to the party. Hey by the way I dont think its fair to give another Dorothy more candy Alys'.... Nah actually there werent too many trick or treaters cause of the rain which I think is sad especially those kids that already had a hard week with e fire and all I came home to find near full bags of candy. Well got home and then knowing I had a long day I couldnt get to sleep and oh theres the thing that I love about ESPN they replay the game shown eariler at 2 am so yeah i watched the sixers game. I couldnt get to sleep but yeah anyway I went to work on very lil sleep and then I had a million and one errands to run to help my brother with his homecoming. The thing is that I had to stay later too long of a story to write (not too interesting I didnt shank anyone or anything lol) but yeah I couldnt go pick up the camera that roxy was gonna let me borrow I was crazy late to pick up the corsage and I still had to look for the damn cuffflinks and tie thingy (yep I forgot what it's called ). Well when I got howm from all this I changed outta of my work clothes and then heped my brother (oh by the way Gelson's makes really pretty corsages I wated to keep it) and then finally after all the running around We were off my momma had the "aww he's growing up" look it was just so full house nah not that far but it was pretty funny. We get to the chicks house my brother gets out to go get her they come out Ithink she hit her head getting in the car ( no I didnt laugh maybe cause I was in the "aww" thing ). I get them school and then as i park I hear "do you have the tickets?" "do you have your I.D?" ..... Im like damn..... Well my brother had his ID in his wallet. But he had the envelope with the corsage on his lap on the way to her house the thing is that he didnt realize he dropped it when he got out of the car ad the chick forgot her ID so I had to drive them all the way back to her house. The envelope was on the ground slightly damp nothing kleenex couldnt fix and she brought her passaport cause she couldnt find her school ID ( on the real Im thinking it's only a school dance not P.Diddy's birthday party). I finally drop them off. I called Brissa but she couldnt go out and I feel bad I think I cut her off a bit but I had crap reception and so I couldnt really hear her SORRY briss'!!!!!!!!!! and then I thought about it and there wasnt much point fo trying to go anywhere if I had to be back around 11 to pick them up. I went home made some popcorn and watched Gladiator. I pickd them up took them to Starbuck's drive thru and then there was an after party. I took them there and then had to sit through a whole "do you want to go" "well it's up to you" "well you pick" thing.....shoot me....no really... um yeah well they took so long that I forgot to turn off my lights and the battery drained. well there you go , well they went off to the party (although it took much persuasion for my brother to go) and had to try to find a way to get a jump. Well after awhile I found these guys and I went up to them and asked if they had cables. Well they didnt but they went through a lot of trouble find some for me. well I finally got my car back and then I went for coffee cause all that standing around outside made me real cold. The party turned into a house party. My brother calls me around one something and asks me if I wanted to go home already (thinking I was sitting outside in the car) Well the chick didnt watn toleave and so she said she'd go home with her friend and so we get home adn that was the night. I think he had a good time. Who knows what time the chick went home cosidering that she got to drinking and I felt bad cause in a sense I felt a lil' responsible for gettting her home. I dont know if that was bad judgement on my part but it's not like I could force her home.
I got about a month and a half . Here I go again.......... Its november now and well. Damn. deep breath.... just gotta wait.
Oh one more thing, Hey lys' thanks for the heads up.....
posted by Shaistie at 11:08 PM